strept throat of doom
by izfan26
Summary: zim has strept throat, and can't speak. how will he cope? and, not only that, but- oh no! i can't tell you that yet! ZaDf, R&R!
1. Chapter 1: I AM ZIM! ow, my throat!

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

_**WHAT I OWN: THE IDEA**_

_**WHAT I DON'T: ALL CHARACTER**_

Zim's POV

_Beep beep beep. _My alarm clock. I hit the button, but, immediately I knew I was unwell.

Oh, well. Maybe I would ignore it. I was headed upstairs, and started realizing I couldn't

ignore it. My throat felt like it had been scraped raw by a kitchen knife. My robot, GIR

was making waffles. He was putting in tin foil and strawberries. It seemed like such a

lovely morning, so much so, that I opened my word hole and said, (or rather croaked) "good morning." GIR whipped around, and stared at me. "Uh… master, do you feel ok?"

"Advanced robot, GIR unit," I croaked to him "I'm fine. Why are you wearing that

surgical mask?" "Didn't you hear? The human disease known as 'strept throat' is going

around. Don't you remember? I told you about it!" hmm… now that I thought about it…

_***FLASHBACK***_

"_Sir, human diseases are going around." "That's nice, GIR." "Really, Zim, you should wear a mask or something." "Whatever, Computer."_

_***END OF FLASHBACK***_

Maybe I should listen to them more often. But, I scolded GIR, missing several words, due

to the fact I felt like I had swallowed a knife the night before. "Daughter, I do not have

Strept throat! I AM ZIM! ZIM DOES NOT GET STREPT THROAT! YOU ARE

WRONG!" "Okay, I just, you know, thought because of your voice-" WELL, YOU

THOUHT WRONG!" "Okay!" I just left the argument at that, because my throat was

killing me. GIR handed me a plate of waffles. They didn't seem too safe, but, I'm one

for danger. A lovely summer Saturday morning was interrupted by my moan of pain. I

grabbed my throat, feeling like I was nails. "GIR, could you call Dib?"

Dib's POV

I was finishing up hanging the quarantine sign on Gaz's door. "Dib," she croaked from

across the room "it's just strept throat." "Ah, not JUST strept throat, my dear sister," I

said, smoothly to her as I slipped out of the room "not just strept throat indeed." I'm sure

she was looking at the door like there was REALLY something wrong with me. And,

there probably was, but, hey, it wasn't like my parents could tell a difference. My father

was a homicidal maniac, and my mother loved him for that. Well, the phone rang (a rare

occasion in out house) so, I picked it up because mom and dad were at work. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me. Zim. GIR and computer are pushing me to talk to you about a sore throat.

Would you mind?" "Course not. You know I'm always looking for a reason to study

alien biology. Guess I'll be studying the how an Irken reacts to strept throat." Zim was

about to argue that Irkens didn't get strept throat and he didn't have strept throat, but, I

hung up, grabbed my satchel and was out the door before you could say "gameslave 2."


	2. Chapter 2: irken's strept throat

_**A/N; SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN, LIKE FOREVER. I HAD WRITERS BLOCK BAD. ANYWAY, HERE IT IS NOW. PLEASE NOTE, I WAS NOT TRYING TO TICK OFF DIB FANGIRLS. I WAS JUST TRYING TO KEEP ROBOMOM AND DAD IN CHARACTER.**_

"Well, hello, little girl." Robomom greeted cheerfully. "Hello, Mrs. Zillinski. Is Zim home?" Dib asked, ignoring the fact that she called him little girl (she did that… a lot) "oh, yes. My little eggplant baby is in his room. Just flush yourself down that toilet in the kitchen." _Must sound like the most normal thing in the world to her._ Dib thought. Anyway, he flushed himself down the toilet, and knocked on Zim's door. "Hello, Dib." Zim croaked. "Do you have a med ward?" "Yeah. Come on." He took Dib's hand, and led him to a room that looked like a med ward. Well, it had an examination table and stuff. Zim sat down on the examination table, and Dib started working on his throat. The back of his throat was swollen and had goiters on the roof and sides of his esophagus. Or… you know, whatever it is Irkens have. Dib started scraping away some of the goiters on his throat so he could eat and breath. When he finally finished examining and scraping away goiters, Dib turned off his flashlight, and started to talk to Zim. "Okay, dude, I'm not going to lie to you, you have strept throat." Zim was about to scream out at him, but, Dib quickly shushed him. "You can't speak a word. If you want your throat to heal or to ever speak again, you'll have to stop speaking for a few weeks." He handed him a whiteboard, and eraser, and a package of dry erase markers. "You can use these to speak." Zim wrote out, "well, YOU'RE just a _" and showed his message to Dib. "Dude, that is cold. We're on a kid's show, man!" Dib packed up his satchel, and went looking for GIR. "Psst! Hey, GIR!" he whispered to the tiny, blue-eyed SIR unit. "Yeah?" GIR whispered back to the boy with a large head (people always say that, but, I can't see anything wrong with it) Dib handed him a bottle of red liquid. "give this to Zim later today, okay? If you have any probs, call me, kay?" "yeah, okay." "great." Then, he turned to the short Irken who had just now stepped out of the trashcan. "call-I mean TEXT me later, dude. Bye!" he then rushed out the door, trench coat flowing behind him. GIR looked at Zim, and they stared at each other for a long time. "so, how are you going to speak?" GIR asked him. Zim pulled out his whiteboard, and wrote "like this." And showed his message to GIR. "oh." They decided to go watch TV together. GIR got up to get some food, and asked Zim if he wanted anything. Considering his recent throat half-surgery and the pain he was still in, his throat literally scraped raw, He wrote out two words; "ice cream."


	3. Chapter 3: the tallest find out

_**Disclaimer: I do not own invader zim, blah blah blah, is anyone really reading this? No? I didn't think so. So, you guys want to hear a weird joke?**_

_**Why do Irkens have solid colored eyes?**_

_**To keep from running into walls!**_

"Hey, what do you think happened to Zim? He hasn't called in minutes." Asked the

young Irken princess. "I know," tallest Red said, pondering "isn't it great?" he said

cheerfully. "Stop it, uncle Red! This is serious! He hasn't missed a call before! I'm really

worried about him!" "Maybe he lost his voice?" Purple ventured, not wanting his

flawless stupid daughter to give herself worry lines. But, Red and Kari immediately

broke into a fit of laughter. Red managed to say through his mirth, "that- that- that's just

DUMB!" tears of laughter in his eyes. "Well, let's check on that little defect." He said,

collecting himself. "Computer," Princess Kari called out "call 'invader' Zim." Hey, let's

see the rest of this from Zim's house!

_**MEANWHILE, ON A PLANET CALLED EARTH;**_

"**INCOMING TRANSMISSION.**" Computer declared in a robotic voice. "Accept."

GIR responded for Zim. "Hey, Zim. My daughter wanted to make sure you still had a

pulse. For what reason, I have no idea. Hey, look at that, an Irken still likes you." Eerie

silence. "Anyway, why haven't you called? It's been minutes, and I- _she_ was starting to

get worried." Purple scowled at the accidental "I". He was a bit worried about Zim, and

he just admitted it. Another eerie silence. "So… what's up?" Eerie silence. "ZIM! YOUR

TALLEST COMMANDS YOU TO SPEAK!" Red screamed, annoyed that the once

chatty invader wouldn't (couldn't) speak to him. HIM! The half almighty tallest! But,

Zim quickly scribbled something in Irken. "Se haiu, gics." This means, "I can't, sirs."

"What?" "Yuoy juhanicag." Throat surgery. "So, you… can't talk at all?" "Gerr." No.

"So, it happened! Zim really did lose his voice!" Tallest Red said dreamily, tears of joy in

his eyes. "Red, are- are you CRYING?" Purple asked in shock. Red never, never, never,

never, even when they lost their mother and three year old disabled BABY sister, Sarah

to abuse, EVER cried. "It's just… sniff… I dreamed it, but… sob... I never thought any

of us would be around to see it! Boo-hoo! Cry! Weep!" Red started weeping, and Purple

took his daughter's hand in dance (no, no, not THAT kind of dance, you sicko's!) "we'll

call you back later! WAH!" Red moaned happily. The screen turned to black, and im

wrote out and showed GIR, "the poor tallest are taking my sickness really hard." Oh, for

the love of! "they're happy you're sick!" Zim completely went against Dib's advice, and

screamed "I AM NOT- ack!" he wrote in all capital red marker letters, "I AM NOT

SICK!"


	4. Chapter 4: medicine

_**Disclaimer: I don't own invader Zim. That is all.**_

Zim sat on his bed, holding his head in his black gloved hands. He had never gone this long without screaming before. He had never gone this long without SPEAKING! He wanted to slam his head in the door. In fact, he had done that once or twice… fifteen times. Zim fondled the end of the scarf he had been forced to wear to protect his throat. He was screaming inside, "CURSE YOU, STREPT THROAT! CURSE YOUUU!" and he was simultaneously beating his head against the whiteboard. GIR looked in on the boy on his bed. He reached into his head, and pulled out the medicine. So, acting GIRish, he ran up to him, and screamed right in his antennae, "MASTURR!" Zim winced in pain and wrote "GIR, I'm sitting right next to you. What do you want? And OW!" he pointed to his antennae on that last part. "Dib said you needed t take this!" first he couldn't speak, and then he had to wear this hideous scarf, now THIS? "I'm not drinking it." Zim wrote, clamping his mouth shut. "You have too!" "I AM ZIM! AND I WILL NOT TAKE IT!" "TAKE IT!" "**NO!**" "_**ZIM!**_" "_**NEVER!**_" "We can do this the easy way or the hard way! Or the medium way… or the semi-difficult easy hard way… or the sort of awkward with a touch of challenging way... or any other way I don't have time to mention in the short eleven minutes we're on the air." Zim kicked GIR across the room, and raced out the door on his PAK legs. GIR was still holding the medicine, but was now upside-down against a wall. Zim's scarf fluttered down, and covered him. "Hard way it is then." He muttered from underneath the wool. So, GIR got up, and went looking for the Irken invader. He found him up n a corner of the living room. "You're taking this medicine, master." GIR said up at him through clenched teeth. "No I'm not!" Zim wrote. He smacked GIR around with his PAK legs for a few minutes, but, finally threw GIR out the door, jumped out the widow, and ran across the ledge. "Must... find… help…" GIR moaned as he crawled toward Dib C.'s house.


	5. Chapter 5: a helping head

_**Disclaimer: I do not own invader Zim, blah, blah, blah, I couldn't care less about the words I'm saying, blah, blah, blah, you're not really reading this are you. Anyway, since you're here, do you want to hear a joke that makes no sense at all? Well, if the answer is no, here it is anyway!**_

_**Knock knock**_

_**Who's there?**_

_**Flooba dooba weeba wobba HOO!**_

_**Flooba dooba weeba wobba HOO! Who?**_

_**Watermelon.**_

DIB'S POV

I was working on my Bigfoot files, when I heard my door break open. I turned around to see GIR, broken and battered, crawling up to me. "DIB! - HELP! - Zim- medicine- not take- I try- but no good- PLEASE!" I got up, and opened his head to look at the damage. His speech drive was horrifically fried. So, I did what I could for it. The result, GIR would have horrible grammar. "What did you say?" I asked. "I said, 'DIB! HELP! Zim won't take his medicine, and when I tried to force him to take it, he did this! So, will you help me? PLEASE!' so, will you help me?" "Of course." I stood on a table, and started to make up a speech on the spot;

"You see, GIR, this is for Zim's own good. He may not believe us, but it is. He can smash our skulls, misplace our memories, break our bones, and we will be back for more.

And, do you know why? Partly because we're crazy. But, mostly because we like it! Because we just want to help him! We MUST win this fight! We WILL win this fight! He will take that medicine weather he likes it or not!"

"Yes! Yes! Lead and I will follow you to the end of the multi-verse, my general!" GIR cheered. He rushed out the door on his badly wounded legs, up then backed up, turned to me, and asked "what is us gonna do?" "I HAVEN'T A CLUE!" I said heroically. I flopped face down onto the hardwood floor. "What do you MEAN you don't have a plan?" "Alright, alright, calm down…" I said, still face down.

_**THREE MINUTES LATER**_

"I've since thought of a plan!" I exclaimed, jumping up. "GREAT! Is it elaborate overly thought out and a lot more complicated then it needs to be or would've been with your eight-year-old brain?" "No, we're just gonna hold him down and force the medicine down his throat." GIR looked at me as though I asked him if purple was a vegetable. "OH, COME ON, DUDE! I'M NINE!" I shrieked. "Whatever." "Let's just go!"


	6. Chapter 6: Dib succeeds

_**DISCLAIMER: OTHER THAN THE IDEA, I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! YOU HEAR ME, SQUIRREL BOY? NOTHING!**_

"Okay, GIR, we're clear on what's going to happen, right?" Dib asked the small robot outside the window Zim ran through. "yeah." Then, he whispered "_I'm going to hold him still while you force his mouth open, and shove the medicine down his throat._" "You got it. Now, we have to coax Zim inside." Dib put his head out the window, and looked at him chilling on the ledge. "Okay, Zim, you win." Dib called out to him. "We won't make you take the medicine." Zim wrote out "good. Because if you remember, I'm allergic to

Water, and that's exactly what's in the medicine." And sent his message over to Dib. "Is that why you won't take the medicine?" "Yes. Because there is." "Only a tiny bit!" "The main ingredient is water." Computer stepped in. "Computer, don't make it worse!" "Well, we're NOT going to make you take it anyway. So, why don't you come in?" Zim slowly but surely crawled inside the house. He stood there for a few minutes, not expecting anything to happen. But, GIR tackled him, and forced his mouth open. But, Zim squirmed free, and raced into the basement. "Hey, Computer, where is he?" "He's headed to the main lab room. You can corner him there, I have a lab table with restraints you can put him on." Dib and GIR flew down in the elevator, and cornered him in the end of his lab. "It's over, Zim!" Dib yelled grabbing Zim by the shirt. Of course, Zim struggled to get away, but, Dib wasn't about to let him go. He pushed Zim down onto the lab table, and Computer activated the restraints. Dib thought while Zim was restrained, he could examine his throat and see how well his throat was healing up from that morning. "Zim, you know you're totally helpless here. So, do as I say, and this will be over before you know it." Zim kept his eyes and mouth clamped shut while turning his head away from Dib. But, Dib grabbed his head, and forced him to face him. "You can't invade if you can't speak, Zim." Zim let that sink in a moment, and finally realized,

_Zim has no choice here, does he?_

But, he croaked "why does the Dib care about Zim so much?" "Because you're my best friend, and it's my job to help you no matter what. And don't talk again, remember I told you not to?" Zim and Dib looked at each other funny for a long time. Finally, the reality of what Dib had said sunk in. So, Zim opened his mouth as wide as he possibly could, and Dib started examining the sores. "You really need this, Zim." He announced. Dib decided Zim as trustworthy not to run away, so, he released his arm restraints. But, Zim grabbed the bottle, and downed the whole thing. He winced in pain as the water scalded the back of his throat. "there, now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" _no, it wasn't_ Zim thought. _It was worse. Well, either way, it's over now._ He smiled weakly at his scythe haired friend. He **WAS** feeling better, but, the medicine had nothing to do with it.


	7. Chapter 7: three days later

_**THREE HORRIBLY SILENT DAYS LATER…**_

"Say ah." Dib ordered, a flashlight in one hand, a tongue depressor in the other. He was looking at the healing progress of Zim's throat in his buddy's basement. "Ahhh…" Dib shined the flashlight at the back of Zim's throat, and was explaining his findings to Zim. The holes that were once goiters were 95% healed. His swelling had near completely gone down, and his throat was less and less red. "Zim, aren't you happy you took that medicine?" Dib asked as he came out of his throat. "Yeah," Zim answered, his words a little clearer than when they were three weeks ago "I guess I am." GIR handed Zim a scarf, and Zim wrapped it around his neck. "So, I have to take the horrible medicine one more time, don't I?" Dib held up a near empty bottle of medicine and a spoon. "yep." The fight had really leaked out of Zim, s, he just opened when he was told to open. Dib gave Zim the medicine, and Zim winced in pain as it scalded the back of his throat. The bottle was finished, and Zim WAS feeling a lot better than he had been that morning four weeks ago. "Does this mean I can talk?" Zim asked "sure." Dib grinned. "See ya later, Zim." Dib called behind him as he grabbed his satchel and left.

_**MEANWHILE ON THE MASSIVE**_

The tallest were drinking the Irken liquid (who knows, or WANTS to know what it was) and toasted to Zim for getting sick. "Hey, Red, you want to look at Zim in all his voice-less misery?" "You know I do, Pur! Computer, call 'invader' Zim!" Red laughed, thinking about Zim crying. But, to their disappointment, Zim was smiling at them, but, he was still a little bit hoarse. "Hello, my tallest. Cough, cough!" the tallest looked at him in horror "Z-Z-Zim? You-your voice is back?" tallest Purple stuttered. "Not completely, but, yes, my voice is back. But, trust me, I will try not to get sick again." "Whoop-dee-Irking-doo." Red said sarcastically. The transmission ended, and Zim started to talk out loud to himself. "Well, now I have to admit that Irkens DO get strept throat. I'm just glad I didn't say Irkens don't need surgery." Zim's abdomen stabbed itself, and Zim doubled over in pain. "Ow! Kidding!"


End file.
